Very Slight Stories | Like short stories, only shorter. |
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Tuesday, December 20, 2005ChristmasDenise is doing a crossword, and she keeps asking the vet for help, but the vet isn't interested. When Denise says she needs a five letter word for a tree, the vet says, "I don't know. Why don't you ask Santa?" Santa is standing by the fireplace. She asks him and he says, "I'm sitting on a box." "That's why," Denise says to the vet. They hear someone running down the stairs, and then Darren comes into the room. "I just met three ghosts!" he says. "They were Christmas ghosts. At least I think they were. I asked the first one about it, but he just looked down at his feet. Actually, he didn't have any feet. He looked at the second ghost's feet, and he tried to take them while the second ghost was looking away. And actually, they weren't really the second ghost's feet either. The third ghost gave them to him in exchange for an orange." "Why don't you ask Darren about the crossword clue?" the vet says to Denise. Denise sighs and half-heartedly says, "Seven down, a type of tree, five letters." "I didn't ask where he got the orange." Denise just looks at the vet. |
The Tree and the Horse Henry Seaward-Shannon A Walk in the Rain The East Cork Patents Office Mizzenwood Words are my favourite noises Archive Links:
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very slight stories |
They Met a Bear They stopped in a small seaside town and they went for a walk. They met a bear. This is one version of the story. In another version, they met a sailor, and in this one they ended up being held at gunpoint on a speedboat and becoming unwilling participants in a diamond robbery while disguised as a cow, and sharing in the proceeds of that crime. So when they tell the story they just say, "We met a bear. He waved at us." The Story of the Fortune Teller and the Alarm Clock A fortune teller threw an alarm clock at me. This story is deliberately lacking in details to mock the predictions of the fortune teller. Although she was right when she said she'd throw an alarm clock at me. Counting One. Two. Three, the study. Four, a candle stick. Five. Six... Seven is missing, presumed dead. One has taken up the case, and two is helping him in his investigations. They both suspect six. Seven was last seen next to six in the garden. But seven isn't really dead. He's consumed half a bottle of whiskey and he's currently in the orchard, talking to a rabbit. "One of us is as boring as a gate post," he says, "and it's not..." He stops to count on his fingers. "No, actually it is me." Eight nine ten. Debbie and his dog Debbie was sick of people mistaking her for a man. "Is your dog my parole officer?" "No." She was sick of people asking her that too. More blogs about Storytelling. |