|Very Slight Stories | Like short stories, only shorter.||
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
A Thing That Goes 'Ping'
Michelle is the tour guide in an old country mansion. She stands in front of the fireplace in the drawing room and the latest tour group listen as she says, "This painting was painted in pointy pointy pointy," wagging a finger each time she says 'pointy'. "Look at that," she says and points at something behind the group. She runs away when they turn around.
She goes shopping for hats with her friends Lisa and Nicole. They try on lots of different hats, different colours and shapes, looking in mirrors and spinning around.
Then they go to a lecture about a thing that goes 'ping', but they're bored out of their minds. Nicole eventually puts up her hand and says, "Do we really need to know any more than that it goes 'ping'?"
The lecturer takes the pipe from his mouth and looks up at the ceiling. Then he looks over towards the window.
Michelle, Lisa and Nicole lie on the grass, looking dazed. Michelle struggles to get to her feet. Nicole's arm is in a sling and there's a bandage around her head.
They hear a 'ping' sound. The lecturer walks over to them and says, "Yes. Yes, you do."
The Tree and the Horse
A Walk in the Rain
The East Cork Patents Office
Words are my favourite noises
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|very slight stories||
They Met a Bear
They stopped in a small seaside town and they went for a walk. They met a bear.
This is one version of the story. In another version, they met a sailor, and in this one they ended up being held at gunpoint on a speedboat and becoming unwilling participants in a diamond robbery while disguised as a cow, and sharing in the proceeds of that crime.
So when they tell the story they just say, "We met a bear. He waved at us."
The Story of the Fortune Teller and the Alarm Clock
A fortune teller threw an alarm clock at me. This story is deliberately lacking in details to mock the predictions of the fortune teller. Although she was right when she said she'd throw an alarm clock at me.
One. Two. Three, the study. Four, a candle stick. Five. Six...
Seven is missing, presumed dead. One has taken up the case, and two is helping him in his investigations. They both suspect six. Seven was last seen next to six in the garden.
But seven isn't really dead. He's consumed half a bottle of whiskey and he's currently in the orchard, talking to a rabbit. "One of us is as boring as a gate post," he says, "and it's not..." He stops to count on his fingers. "No, actually it is me."
Eight nine ten.
Debbie and his dog
Debbie was sick of people mistaking her for a man.
"Is your dog my parole officer?"
She was sick of people asking her that too.
More blogs about Storytelling.