Very Slight Stories | Like short stories, only shorter. |
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Tuesday, July 04, 2006Twenty-Three Things
There are twenty-three things or an avalanche of things and there's also a wasp, and he's looking at himself in the mirror, or else there's just one thing and I hope it's not the wasp. I hope it's Jenny saying hello.
She's been having trouble with all the little wizards of Oz who keep knocking at her door looking for strawberries, and she throws the strawberries at their foreheads now but still they keep knocking. The wasp keeps flying into her forehead. She says, "Watch where you're going," but it doesn't make any difference. The people who live in the mansion down the road spent a long time searching for the right sort of servants who could fix raffles and draws, and shoot zebras if they had to, but they wouldn't have to. I thought the servants could help Jenny with the wizards and the wasp. They could shoot the wasp, if they had to. But they just sent all the wizards who call to their house over to her house. Now she won't open her front door when I call. The grey clouds form above and it's the end of the world. And all that's left to do is tap someone on the shoulder and say, "I drew a horsie." "Only half of it looks like a horse." Yeah, I know. |
The Tree and the Horse Henry Seaward-Shannon A Walk in the Rain The East Cork Patents Office Mizzenwood Words are my favourite noises Archive Links:
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very slight stories |
They Met a Bear They stopped in a small seaside town and they went for a walk. They met a bear. This is one version of the story. In another version, they met a sailor, and in this one they ended up being held at gunpoint on a speedboat and becoming unwilling participants in a diamond robbery while disguised as a cow, and sharing in the proceeds of that crime. So when they tell the story they just say, "We met a bear. He waved at us." The Story of the Fortune Teller and the Alarm Clock A fortune teller threw an alarm clock at me. This story is deliberately lacking in details to mock the predictions of the fortune teller. Although she was right when she said she'd throw an alarm clock at me. Counting One. Two. Three, the study. Four, a candle stick. Five. Six... Seven is missing, presumed dead. One has taken up the case, and two is helping him in his investigations. They both suspect six. Seven was last seen next to six in the garden. But seven isn't really dead. He's consumed half a bottle of whiskey and he's currently in the orchard, talking to a rabbit. "One of us is as boring as a gate post," he says, "and it's not..." He stops to count on his fingers. "No, actually it is me." Eight nine ten. Debbie and his dog Debbie was sick of people mistaking her for a man. "Is your dog my parole officer?" "No." She was sick of people asking her that too. More blogs about Storytelling. |