Very Slight Stories | Like short stories, only shorter.





'Darcy and O'Mara' is a novel by Arthur Cronin.
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Tuesday, October 10, 2006

 

The Blue Flag

   This story was written by Agnes. Agnes was written by a group of teachers. The teachers formed huddles when they had important decisions to make. Some of them just liked the huddling because it veered into cuddling, and there was a lack of that in their lives outside of the decision-making process. They invented important decisions just for the huddle. It took them two hours to decide that Agnes should have a hat. They made her go on a long train journey, and they left her at her destination for just ten minutes before she had to go back because she'd forgotten to do something to her cat.
   She found a spoon once, and on another day she met a man. He was an Eskimo. The teachers considered hundreds of different professions before settling on Eskimo. Neither Agnes nor the Eskimo had much to say. She showed him the spoon.
   The teachers had a lot to drink once, and one of their huddles went way beyond cuddling. They couldn't look each other in the eyes after this, and Agnes was left unfinished, looking at a blue flag. She was happy just looking at a blue flag with her hat. 'It's a flag and it's blue' is Agnes's story, and she gets a sense of completeness from that, despite the fact that she's unfinished herself, or maybe because of it.










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very slight stories

They Met a Bear
  They stopped in a small seaside town and they went for a walk. They met a bear.
  This is one version of the story. In another version, they met a sailor, and in this one they ended up being held at gunpoint on a speedboat and becoming unwilling participants in a diamond robbery while disguised as a cow, and sharing in the proceeds of that crime.
  So when they tell the story they just say, "We met a bear. He waved at us."

The Story of the Fortune Teller and the Alarm Clock
  A fortune teller threw an alarm clock at me. This story is deliberately lacking in details to mock the predictions of the fortune teller. Although she was right when she said she'd throw an alarm clock at me.

Counting
  One. Two. Three, the study. Four, a candle stick. Five. Six...
  Seven is missing, presumed dead. One has taken up the case, and two is helping him in his investigations. They both suspect six. Seven was last seen next to six in the garden.
  But seven isn't really dead. He's consumed half a bottle of whiskey and he's currently in the orchard, talking to a rabbit. "One of us is as boring as a gate post," he says, "and it's not..." He stops to count on his fingers. "No, actually it is me."
  Eight nine ten.

Debbie and his dog
  Debbie was sick of people mistaking her for a man.
  "Is your dog my parole officer?"
  "No."
  She was sick of people asking her that too.







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